The Secret to Raising Kids Who Actually Like Bedtime

At any other time of day, reading a favourite book, cuddling a beloved stuffed animal, or snuggling with mom and dad might be at the very top of your child’s “Most Fantastic Things to Do” list. But attach any of these ideas to the dreaded B-word, and suddenly you’ve entered a whole new world of chaos.

Bedtime in many homes can feel like a four-letter word. The moment it’s mentioned, disaster strikes, tears flow, and patience disappears. Parents are exhausted, kids are cranky, and everyone is left wondering how something so simple can feel so impossible. The good news is bedtime doesn’t have to be a battle. With a few intentional strategies, you can turn nighttime into a calm, happy, and even fun part of your day. Here’s how.

TL;DR

Bedtime battles are common, but they don’t have to rule your evenings. Avoid punishing with sleep, start routines before your child is overtired, give them choices, praise healthy sleep habits, and make bedtime fun. These strategies help children value sleep and make nights calmer for everyone.

1. Don’t Use Sleep as a Punishment

One of the biggest mistakes parents make is using sleep as a disciplinary tool. Threatening to send your child to bed early because of misbehaviour might feel like a quick fix, but it can backfire in a major way.

When sleep is used as a punishment, children start to associate bedtime with negative feelings. They may resist going to their room, refuse to follow their bedtime routine, or even develop anxiety around sleeping. Bedtime is not negotiable; it’s essential for healthy growth, mood regulation, and overall well-being.

Instead of punishment, try using positive reinforcement. Celebrate small wins: staying in bed, finishing the bedtime routine calmly, or even simply brushing their teeth without protest. When children see sleep as something positive and restorative, they are far more likely to embrace it willingly.

Quick tip: If you need a consequence for misbehaviour, pick something unrelated to sleep. Take away screen time, a favourite toy, or adjust playtime instead. Keep bedtime sacred.

2. Don’t Wait Until Your Child is Exhausted

Ever notice that the overtired child is always the hardest to put to bed? When kids are completely wiped out, they may fight, cry, or argue just to stay awake. Starting the bedtime routine too late sets you both up for frustration.

Having a consistent, age-appropriate bedtime is key. For most children under ten, an 8 PM bedtime works perfectly, though it will vary depending on your child’s needs. Starting bedtime before your child hits “crash mode” makes evenings smoother and dramatically reduces nighttime meltdowns.

Example: Instead of waiting until 9 PM when everyone is grumpy, aim for 7:30 or 8 PM. Begin a calming routine: bath, pajamas, brushing teeth, and a story. Doing this consistently trains their body to wind down naturally and makes sleep less of a fight.

3. Give Your Child Some Control

Kids love to make choices. Giving them control over small decisions during bedtime turns the process into a fun, collaborative activity rather than a battle.

Here are some ways to empower your child:

• Let them choose which book to read from a short selection.
• Give them two options for pajamas and let them decide.
• Allow them to pick which stuffed animal joins them in bed.
• Let them choose the order of small bedtime tasks, like brushing teeth before or after putting on PJs.

When kids feel like they have a say, they are more likely to participate without argument. Bedtime becomes less about “you must” and more about “we get to do this together.” It’s amazing how giving tiny choices can transform a night of chaos into a peaceful routine.

4. Praise Your Child for Being an Awesome Sleeper

Never underestimate the power of praise. Children understand more than we often give them credit for. Talk to them about why sleep matters: how it helps them grow, gives them energy for play, improves focus at school, and even makes them happier throughout the day.

Praise healthy sleep habits consistently. Celebrate when they:

• Stay in bed all night.
• Follow the bedtime routine calmly.
• Wake up in the morning ready to start the day.

Positive reinforcement helps children value sleep and makes them more likely to embrace bedtime as something they can feel proud of. It’s also a subtle way to teach responsibility and self-care from a young age.

Pro tip: Make a sticker chart or a small bedtime reward system. Kids love tangible recognition, and it makes bedtime feel like a small accomplishment instead of a daily struggle.

5. Make Bedtime Fun

Yes, bedtime can actually be fun. The more your child associates sleep with comfort, security, and enjoyment, the easier it becomes. Here are some playful ideas:

• Use a soft nightlight for a cozy glow.
• Include a favourite stuffed animal or “bedtime buddy.”
• Create a silly bedtime chant or song to signal it’s time to wind down.
• Celebrate small milestones, like finishing the bedtime routine without fuss or staying in bed all night.

Adding playful elements makes bedtime predictable yet enjoyable. Children learn to look forward to the routine instead of resisting it. It also gives parents a chance to bond in a positive, low-stress way at the end of the day.

Bonus Tips for Stress-Free Nights

• Keep screens out of the bedroom: TV, tablets, and phones stimulate the brain and interfere with sleep. Aim for screen-free time at least an hour before bed.
• Watch sugar and caffeine: Avoid sugary or caffeinated snacks late in the day, which can rev kids up when you want them to calm down.
• Maintain a peaceful environment: Keep the bedroom dark, quiet, and comfortable. Adjust the temperature so it’s cozy but not too warm and remove distractions.

The Bottom Line

Bedtime doesn’t have to be a nightly battle. Avoid punishing with sleep, start routines before your child is overtired, give them choices, praise healthy sleep habits, and inject fun wherever possible. With these strategies, bedtime becomes one of the most peaceful and enjoyable parts of the day for both you and your child.

Raising kids who like bedtime takes consistency, patience, and creativity. Stick with it, and soon you’ll enjoy calmer evenings, happier mornings, and a child who actually looks forward to winding down for the night.

Parenting is messy, but sleep is something you can control. A little structure, a lot of consistency, and a sprinkle of fun can turn bedtime from a dreaded chore into a nightly highlight.