Baby Shower Etiquette for Hosts, Guests, & Parents-to-Be

Expecting a little one? Or perhaps you're helping celebrate a friend's upcoming new arrival? Either way, navigating the world of baby showers can be as tricky as assembling a crib at 2 AM. But don't worry! We've got answers to all your pressing questions about this special celebration.  

From who’s supposed to host, “baby sprinkles”, to returning gifts, we have you covered! Let's dive into the details and make your baby shower experience smooth, enjoyable, and memorable! 

For the Host: Planning the Perfect Shower 

Who's supposed to host the baby shower?  

Traditionally, a close friend or family member takes charge, but these days, anyone excited about the baby can host — even the parents-to-be themselves! The key is enthusiasm and willingness to plan. If you're a close friend or relative and want to host, offer your party-planning skills to the parents-to-be. They'll likely be thrilled to have your support. 

How do I throw a baby shower? 

Throwing a baby shower involves a mix of planning, organization, and creativity. Start by setting a date and venue that works for the parents-to-be and their closest friends and family. Next, send out invitations — either traditional ones or digital invites will do. Plan the menu, decorations, and games that will keep guests engaged and entertained. For some fun game ideas, check out our guide on baby shower games guests love. 

Is a baby shower before or after the baby is born?  

Most showers happen 4–6 weeks before the baby's due date, but there's flexibility here. Post-birth "welcome baby" parties are gaining popularity, especially for parents who prefer to wait. For adoptions or special circumstances, timing can be flexible. Some choose to wait until after the baby is born for cultural, religious, or personal reasons. The most important thing is to consult with the parents-to-be about their preferences. 

Who should I invite to the baby shower?  

Keep it cozy with close friends and family. Always check with the parents-to-be — they might have some surprising additions to the guest list! Consider close family members, good friends, coworkers (if the parents-to-be are close to them), and neighbours. Remember, it's quality over quantity. The goal is to surround the parents-to-be with love and support. 

Where's the best place to host a baby shower?  

The venue sets the tone for the entire event. Consider an intimate shower at home, a restaurant for easy food and cleanup, or a park or community centre for larger groups. It’s important to choose a spot that's comfortable and accessible for everyone. Consider factors like parking, seating, and amenities. The venue should fit the vibe you're going for — whether that's elegant and formal or casual and relaxed. 

Do I need a theme or games for the baby shower?  

Themes and games can add flair, but they're not mandatory. The focus is on celebration, not Pinterest perfection. If you do choose a theme, make sure it resonates with the parents-to-be. Unique or non-traditional themes can make the shower stand out, and most people do enjoy a good game. For some fun game ideas, check out our guide to baby shower games. 

Who pays for the baby shower?  

Traditionally, the host covers costs. For bigger bashes, consider splitting expenses among co-hosts. If you're hosting, be clear about your budget upfront. It's okay to ask for help — maybe one person handles decorations while another takes care of food. Just be clear about expectations to avoid any awkwardness. 
  

For Guests: Navigating the Celebration 

Is it rude to buy a gift that is not on the baby registry? 

While it's generally best to stick to the registry, thoughtful off-registry gifts can be appreciated if you know the parents-to-be well. If you do go off-registry, consider pairing your gift with a small registry item and always include a gift receipt. Remember, the most important thing is celebrating the new arrival and supporting the parents-to-be, whether your gift is from the registry or not.

What are some good and bad gifts to give at a baby shower? 

Good gifts are thoughtful and useful, such as baby essentials or items from the parents' registry. Bad gifts might include things that are overly personal, like clothes in very specific styles or sizes, unless you know the parents' tastes well. When in doubt, gift cards are always appreciated. They allow parents to buy what they need when they need it.

Should baby shower gifts be for the mom or the baby? 

While traditionally baby shower gifts are for the baby, it's becoming more common (and appreciated) to include something for the parents too. Pampering gifts for mom (or the birthing parent), meal delivery service gift cards, a cleaning service gift certificate, or self-care items like luxurious lotions or comfy pajamas can be really thoughtful items that help parents out in the early days. Remember, taking care of the parents is taking care of the baby too! 

Is it rude to go to a baby shower without a gift?  

 While gifts are generally expected, circumstances vary. If you can't bring a gift, consider sending a gift later, offering a service (like home-cooked meals after the baby arrives), or bringing a heartfelt card with a promise of future help. Communication is key — if you're in a tough spot, a quick note to the host explaining your situation goes a long way. 

What are some traditional gifts to give at a baby shower? 

Traditional gifts include items like baby clothes, diapers, and baby gear. Personal touches, such as handmade items or keepsakes, are also appreciated. The key is to consider what will be most useful for the new parents.  

Are husbands supposed to be present at a baby shower? 

Times are changing! While traditionally baby showers were women-only events, it's becoming more common (and fun!) to include partners and family members of all genders. Some couples even opt for "co-ed" showers. Consider the parents-to-be's preferences, cultural and family traditions, and the overall vibe of the event. Remember, not everyone who is pregnant or expecting a baby identifies as a woman, so it's important to be inclusive. When in doubt, ask the host or the parents-to-be about their preferences. 

For Parents-to-Be: Your Time to Shine 

What's expected of me at my own baby shower?  

Relax and enjoy! This is your time to be celebrated. Your main jobs are to greet and thank guests, participate in games or activities (if you want to), open gifts (if that's part of the plan), and express gratitude. Remember, don't feel pressured to be "on" the whole time. It's okay to take breaks if you need them — growing a human is hard work! 

Is it okay to have multiple baby showers?  

Absolutely! Different circles, different showers. You might have a family shower, a friend group celebration, and a work shower. Each group brings its own special energy to celebrating your little one. Just be mindful of gift expectations — you might want to have smaller "sprinkles" for subsequent showers. 

Do I really need a baby registry?  

While it’s not mandatory, it is super helpful! Include a range of prices and items. Don't forget to add some things for yourself — you deserve it! Plus, if you start a registry with us, you get a ton of perks! 

Is it rude to ask for money instead of gifts?  

Asking for cash directly can be tricky. Consider adding gift cards or subtly mention cash gifts on your registry. Offering a range of gift options is a good way to let guests choose what they’re comfortable with. Remember, the most important thing is celebrating your new addition. If you really do prefer money, be honest but gracious about it. 

Is it tacky to make a registry for a second baby? 

Not at all! A baby registry for a second or subsequent child is perfectly acceptable, especially if it’s a different gender or if the family needs new items. It’s a practical way for guests to know what’s truly needed. For tips on what to include, check out our second baby checklist.

Is it impolite to return a gift received at a baby shower? 

Returning a gift isn’t inherently rude, especially if it’s done discreetly. Many parents-to-be appreciate gift receipts to handle returns or exchanges, so if you receive something that doesn’t fit, it’s perfectly fine to make adjustments.

When should I send thank you notes?  

Aim to send them within 2–3 weeks after the shower, but don't stress if it takes a bit longer. Some tips: keep a list of gifts and givers during the shower; write notes in batches to avoid overwhelm; a heartfelt, simple note is better than a long, delayed one; and consider including a photo of the baby using the gift (for post-birth showers). Remember, a little gratitude goes a long way in maintaining relationships and showing appreciation for the support you've received.

Final Thoughts 

At the end of the day, a baby shower is about celebrating new life and supporting the parents-to-be. Keep that in mind, and everything else will fall into place!  

Need help setting up your registry or finding the perfect shower gift? Be sure to check out our baby registry page and our registry guide for all the essentials. You can also visit us in store for more registry help — we've got everything you need to make this celebration unforgettable!